Don’t Tear Down. Build Up.

Yesterday I looked at one of my dearest friends, let’s call him H’mm, and how he is as an individual. There are so many things I could say about him that just aren’t right; from the little big lies he tells while looking me straight in the eye to cursing like a sailor. So, as I was walking for about an hour or so, it dawned to me that we’re most of the times total opposites and this draws us even closer as friends. What started as little whispers ended up being prayers…yes, while I was still walking. Alone. In the middle of the street. As I was praying out loud that he doesn’t need me to point out his wrongs. I think the words were “Lord he’s Your child. I can’t do this anymore. I’m so exhausted. I stand on Your Word when you promised that You will bring the blind by a way they don’t know. You will lead them in paths they have not known. You will make darkness light before them and crooked places straight. You said it Lord. You did, and I know that You are not man that You should lie. You say these things You will do for them and not forsake them – H’mm included.”. I tell you I was so close to tearing up right there in the middle of the road because I have come to realise that some friendships are more precious than others and I tend to forget to remember that each person decides to live the way that they choose, regardless if I like it or not. (by the way, that verse is Isaiah 42:16)

I was so frustrated and so exhausted; saying the same things to H’mm over and over. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t show up to work some days, not because he’s hungover but because he is frustrated of where he is in life. It wasn’t and isn’t my place to scold him. He’s a grown man. To continually tell him to stop this nonsense is no longer my business, not even as a friend. Yes, it bugs me so much to keep repeating myself to him. And to hear him all defensive and pull away over and  over again, of course there’s that tagline I despise “I know what I did was wrong. I don’t know what’s wrong with me”. (I always picture a sucker punch right there & watch him lay unconscious until he figures out what’s wrong with him). I can fill a legal pad or more on what he does that just do injustice to his talent, that continually taint his character and all.But now, I won’t do any of that anymore. No more calling him out. I’m putting away my lime highlighter, and no longer will I move it over each and every error I think he has. That’s not the kind of love I want to receive either…not when I am not ready to fill whatever void I may or may not find missing…

So here goes, this is who he is
He is one of the most intelligent people I know.
He is funny, with the craziest sense of humour. Comes to think of it, he has a very crazy laugh too… I can hear it echo in this space right now, and it just brings goosebumps to my entire body and make me smile 🙂
He is very talented, creative and innovative… whoever said “think outside the box”…well, that box, H’mm has no idea what it is. His talent is limitless.
He is an academic…humble one, you’d never ever hear him mention his academic achievements…Cum Laude or Masters Degree 🙂
He is a son. A brother. An uncle. A father. A dad. A husband…:) he has no idea yet 🙂 – this revelation is yet to come 🙂
He is a protector…well, I’m not just literally meaning that. Though I see traces of a fighter in his character and past. Let alone that he says I tame him… yeah (✿◠‿◠)
He’s a true friend. He grounds me, and is probably the only person who acknowledges my nonsense and doesn’t entertain it. I’ve never met a man who isn’t afraid to take me on like that. I love that about him. Maybe we do that for/to each other  we discovered this song & individually decided it’s our song, when we were miles apart. Coldplay’s Fix You   (◡‿◡✿)    He is very much handy and I appreciate that about him. He fights against injustice. That moves me.
I just remembered…he has one of the most oddest handwritings I have ever seen…there’s something artistic about it. It’s almost as if he’s dancing and drawing at the same time.
He’s an amazing Artist… Graphic Designer… Printmaker… Art Administrator…Cartoonist… mostly, he’s an Artist!
He is a visionary, has great zeal and passion for things people tend to take for granted. He’s a child of God… He may still have trouble embracing that, but I know that all miracles I’ve asked for have come to pass. (so there!)
He’s an adviser… encourager too , even when I don’t wanna hear it. He just lays it there for me, even at times when I don’t want to hear it, and yet need it the most…

Beachville

Waves were so rough that afternoon, and yet he eased me and managed to take a pic that didn’t show my pounding heart. He kept on reminding me to flash a smile (✿◠‿◠)

He’s a leader. He’s not afraid to remain true to the truth, regardless of how many “friends” he may lose. That moves me because it shows true character and genuine. He’s my friend, one of my best friends ever and I just love him so much and hope that he understands that those defensive walls and heart of stone he tends to throw up to my face, well 🙂 I know how to tear them down 🙂 And yes! I’ma love him to life – the next life too!

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